I'm low maintenance. And not in the cool, effortless, French I-didn't-even-try-but-still-look-flawless way. (Hey, if Amy Schumer can cop to being disgusting, I can own staying unshowered in my pajamas for far too long on a Sunday, right?) I don't own a blow dryer because I don't know how to blow dry my own hair, and even if I did own one, I wouldn't think to devote the time to using it. I prefer to stay on the couch, lost down an Internet rabbit hole. As for my makeup routine, I usually swipe on a little mascara, lip stain, and tinted moisturizer... on the subway. (Judge away.) I'm busy ok? Many days my face is completely bare.
All this is to say it felt wholly incongruous to everything I think about who I am to spend 200 dollars (tip included!) and an hour of my life getting eyelash extensions. There's something that feels just plain vain about wanting and wearing fake eyelashes.
To want them for your wedding or a big night out seems easy enough to rationalize. And that's how I started down this slippery slope. Before my wedding last month a friend recommended them—"it's so nice not to worry about it and they'll look great and consistent for the whole weekend." But to want them in a more permanent way, to maintain them after they reach their three-four week life cycle, and keep up the pretense, felt extra-vain—and that's a quality I'm uncomfortable aligning myself with. I'm low maintenance remember?
Because the thing about getting eyelash extensions is there's effort involved: time, money, scheduling, and a procedure that's not entirely pleasant. Getting them requires you to lie down with your eyes closed and your lower lashes taped down while a skilled technician carefully applies individual mink lashes with tweezers and glue. I'm not a patient person; I've always got approximately 30 tabs open on my laptop that I toggle between and I have to restrain myself from "accidentally" bumping into slow walkers in front of me. What I'm getting at is this procedure is rather torturous for me. But the results were so satisfying that when they started to thin after my first go round, I went back for more.
It's counterintuitive, but I've found that having eyelash extensions are perfect for a low(ish) maintenance person like myself. Even on days where I can't be bothered to or didn't have time to put on makeup, my eyes looks coated in mascara and faintly lined. They make me feel a little more confident when I walk out the door in the morning and that's all you can hope for in a beauty treatment.
I'm not alone in my love for fake, semi-permanent lashes. Over the last five years the procedure has become increasingly popular. There are 16 salons in NYC that specialize solely in eyelash extensions, 18 in L.A.
There are some downsides, of course, in addition to the cost and discomfort of the procedure. Unless you sleep like a mummy the lashes can sometimes get a bit bent or smooshed. It's a problem that's easily solved with a quick brush through using a dry mascara wand, but nevertheless, annoying. And I'd be remiss if I didn't say that there are some dangerous side effects, too. A 2012 study noted an increase in "ocular disorder" in Japan as eyelash exensions rose in popularity. There are tons of freak stories out there about allergic reactions to the glue. Needless to say, go to a salon with high ratings and see a technician who is certified and recommended. I went to SoHo's Courtney Akai salon and also received a house call from lash queen and celebrity makeup artist (she toured with The Backstreet Boys!) Setsuko Tate.
And then there's the less terrifying but no less real side effect of broken and lost lashes: lash experts, like my technician at Courtney Akai, will tell you that the fallen lashes you find on your pillow are normal—that it's just natural shedding. Still, it's hard to look at a clump of lashes in your fingers and not worry that they're shedding at an unnatural rate. It's at this point that you (or at least I) start to fear what life with normal-length lashes will be like: Will you look like you were in a small kitchen fire? Will you have to go back to the days of eye makeup remover that somehow never truly got rid of that dark smear under your eyes? You shudder at the thought, and schedule another lash fill.
