Growing up, in a traditional sense, used to mean passing certain milestones: getting married, buying a house, having a kid. For the next little while–what is time, anyway?–we're saying good-bye to all that. We're looking at aging from all different perspectives: why it matters, why it doesn't, what it even means to feel like an adult in the current moment when many of us, in the immortal words of Britney, consider ourselves not a girl and not yet a woman.

Ever since I was old enough to make decisions about my hair, I have kept it consistent: straight, black, and super long. I can count on my fingers the number of times I've had it cut in the last two decades. I have never visited a fancy New York salon and I don't have a go-to hairdresser. My styling essentials? Water, whatever shampoo, and uh, air. 

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Hellin Kay

After wearing my hair this way for years, it became my signature, one that often earned praise from new people I'd meet. "Your hair is so beautiful!" they'd enthuse, always followed by, "Never cut it!"  And I wouldn't. One, because I'm pretty lazy when it comes to beauty, and having long, naturally straight hair required almost no maintenance, and two, long hair became both a point of pride and my beauty crutch: a safe bet I didn't think I could feel beautiful without. Sure, I'd ooh and ahh and double tap photos of other women adopting lobs and pixies, but my own insecurity-fueled beliefs (thinking I had to be thinner to wear short hair or that I would lose whatever sex appeal I had) convinced me to keep this look for life.

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Tyler Joe
BEFORE

That all changed when I started a new job, my dream job (this job!). I felt the need to sharpen everything: my writing, my creativity, and my style. The last part needed extra work. My hair, despite its potential, got relegated to "IDGAF" status, which manifested in topknots and headache-inducing high ponytails. It felt heavy, flat, and boring. That's when–perfect timing–our senior beauty editor, Julie Schott, asked me if I would ever consider cutting my hair. Not just a regular haircut, but an adult haircut with celebrity hairstylist Harry Josh at the Serge Normant at John Frieda Salon. What do Gisele Bundchen, Cindy Crawford, Ellie Goulding, and Gigi Hadid all have in common? They trust Josh with their hair. I couldn't say no.

"Your hair is a one-trick pony," Josh told me as I sat, petrified, in his chair. "What I mean by that is if people haven't seen you before they're like, 'Oh my God, your hair is gorgeous,' but if they see you every day they're like, Her hair has been that way for 10 years. It doesn't have any pop." That sounded accurate. "So, length-wise, off the cuff, I would like to lose a lot of it." Gulp. Josh gestured to my collarbones. "It's a little overwhelming when it's this long. I want to take some of the bulk out," he explained.

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Tyler Joe

I agreed until my hair part came into question. I keep it staunchly flipped to the left side. Josh decided to split it down the middle. "There's something I would like you to think about, which you may have never thought about: the shape of your face," Josh said, "It's very round. When you change your part, you can change the shape of your face. The minute you start wearing a center part, you create more of an oval–suddenly, you lose two or three inches off the sides with this new frame." I've seen this exact style he described on Emilia Clarke, but she's, like, the Sexiest Woman Alive and I'm...me. He pulled up photos of more celebs on Google to make me feel comfortable. I still wavered. "I know for sure that if we were in a photo shoot and you had no opinion and I had to do what I had to do to make you look gorgeous, I would do a center part," he insisted. "It's very chic. It's very Gwyneth. You'll look really expensive–like you work for a high-end magazine." Sold. 

And so, he snipped away. He worked from the back to the front with a razor, section by section, and used a white paper towel to ensure ends were even. After shedding the length, he shed the weight  using thinning shears. "I promise it doesn't take this many steps for anyone else, you just have so much hair," he told me, explaining that without thinning, I'd end up with a puffy triangle around my face. No thank you.

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Tyler Joe

After a blow-dry with the Harry Josh Pro Tools blow-dryer, he ran through my hair with the Harry Josh Pro Tools Ceramic Styling Iron ("Even if you're in a five-minute rush, you can get a transformation with that," he promised), then used a dime-sized pump of John Frieda Frizz Ease Serum throughout the ends. I could repeat those same steps at home on days when I want to look extra polished, but Josh said that the way he cut my hair would let me live on with my low-maintenance, air-drying ways. "You can do everything you did with your long hair: a ponytail, a bun, whatever, just without the bulk." Nothing changed too drastically.

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Tyler Joe
Before + After

When I looked in the mirror, I had a WHO'S THAT GIRL??? reaction, flipping my hair left and right, totally pleased at the lightness I felt, and the way my glossy all-black caught the light. When I walked into the office, coworkers gawked. "I didn't even recognize you!" one said. "Seriously, I can't stop staring," another chimed. "Did you get new clothes, too?" one wondered as I walked in wearing an outfit I've definitely worn before. Getting new hair gave me a whole new way of carrying myself, too. 

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Tyler Joe

I'm a year and a half out of college, 23 years old, and I'm learning to swim in adulthood limbo. I still carry around millennial anxiety over in-betweenness on a lot of fronts: I don't have my own apartment, I'm not sure how to prepare my meals ahead of time, and I'm confused about how to look and feel chic on a tiny budget. The list goes on. I'm not even at the point of worrying about having it all, but rather just having IT, period: "IT" being self confidence, a point of view, a look I can call my own. That last one I can now say I've gotten a head start on–with a seriously grown-up haircut. 

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Hellin Kay
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