1. The hell that is leaving the house without a hair elastic. I may as well have forgotten pants or a shirt or my house keys. I am that fucked.
2. Trying to convince yourself that hair elastic on your wrist looks kind of chic. I mean, it's, like, silver, so it's kind of like a stretchy bracelet with gross pieces of hair stuck in it?
3. Your hair getting trapped in your scarf in the winter. And now I have an awkward bob haircut whether I wanted to or not.
4. You put your hair up in a ponytail so often you wonder why you even have long hair to begin with. Almost every single day I think, Should I just cut it off if I like the way it looks when it's pulled back? I mean, that's basically a short haircut with a secret in the back.
5. The horror of finding hair in your food. It's probably yours but what if it's not. :(
6. God help you if you're on top during sex. Or on the bottom. Basically, in any given position, I'm going to spend 85 percent of sex time trying to pull hairs out of my mouth in a hot way.
7. Pulling out a massive clump of your discarded mush from the shower drain. When I pull out my white-blonde hair from the drain, it looks like discarded rice noodles pulled out of a dumpster. It's truly when I feel at my most attractive.
8. When you put your hair in a ponytail at the gym, but it's still long enough to stick to your armpits. So then you have to be the High Bun girl, which isn't the worst fate but honestly I am not good at putting a bun in my hair that doesn't make look like an old lady who makes pies in the middle of nowhere.
9. When your hair gets really brittle at the ends but you can't cut the split ends off because then you'll lose your identity as a Long-Haired Girl. Aka currently me and I don't intend to get my ends cut off for the next, like, six years of my life because I want mermaid hair.
10. Waiting 9.5 years for your hair to dry. The seasons change, many moons pass, multiple meals are consumed. It is a saga.
11. Finding your hair everywhere. My whole apartment is basically just a place for me to keep all the hair that falls out of my head.
12. Sticky lipgloss is just ... no. It's like your hair knows you have it on and it wants to get stuck in it.
13. Brushing your hair is a workout. That better count as cardio because I am too exhausted to do anything else now and I have Million Dollar Baby arms.
14. Getting your hair caught in your coat zipper. Every. Single. Time.
15. When a guy is sexily running his fingers through your hair and you're panicking because you know he's going to hit a tangle. I'm not an animal! That's just what happens to long-haired peooooppppleeee!
16. Your necklace is no longer a necklace. It is a necklace with hair caught in it like a fly in a web.
17. The amount of shampoo and conditioner you go through is enough to make you buy in bulk. Once a week. There is something about buying bulk shampoo that makes me feel like I'm a large horse who can't get its shit together.
18. If you sleep with it down, you will be choked to death in your sleep. So I have to pull it back every night like an 1800s bride and even then I still wake up with a knotted mass that looks like someone fought me in my sleep.
19. Haircuts. With every new haircut, there is an underlying fear that I will emerge with The Rachel.
20. When you're posting a selfie to Instagram and your hair is so long and luxurious it doesn't all fit in the square. Like, what is even the point?
21. When all of a sudden you feel something on your leg and cold-sweat panic thinking it's a bug or snake, but really you've shed one very long hair. Which means my own hair scares me.
How is this worth it, you guys? Oh, that's right. Because I'm a beautiful princess who little girls envy.
From the editors at Cosmopolitan.
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